Vive la France. Allons enfants de la patrie le jour de gloire est arrivé. I’m in Paris for the "Incredible Italy!" tour. Ici tout est plus facile. Europe has changed in these past ten or fifteen years. Changed for the better. In comparison, Italy is a petrified forest. Incomprehensible from abroad. In order to understand Italy, one needs the services of a cultural translator, a political translator and a social translator. Italy is a world unto itself. The Jurassic Park of the European Continent. A basket full of serpents in which Freemasonry, deviant State powers and organised crime on a global scale are intertwined. A metaphysical place in which the Church State controls and issues orders, the television stations tell of a fairy tale Country, the politicians are more mature than Lenin’s mummy and the majority of the Country’s citizens live in a state of permanent slumber. Here, things are totally different, and the strangest thing is that everything works. I was no longer used to seeing things like trains that are clean, pavements that are not taken over by parked cars, cycling paths, smiling people out on the streets and entire families holding their children’s hands. Seen from this side, "les italiens" look like aliens. They don’t instil fear, even though they should. Contagion only takes a second. Who was it that invented fascism in Europe? Italy, yet we have Fini, who has long since become Christian-Democratised while here they have Le Pen. When the first rabbit was introduced into Australia, no one was particularly concerned. Then the proceeded to breed, millions at a time, and became worse than a plague of locusts. That is just how we are: amiable, helpful, almost loving, with "those joyful eyes of an Italian on tour". My job is to warn the European people of impending danger. The content of George Orwell’s novel entitled 1984 has come true in Italy. Everything is under control, even dissent. Why can this not happen in "Douce France" or in Switzerland? Or in Germany or Denmark for that matter? Of all the European people, the French are the most at risk. In the last two thousand years, their country was occupied by the Romans for four hundred years and by Mussolini for four years during the course of the Second World War. At other times they imported everything possible from Italy, revealing their true passion for art. The French are kleptomaniacs when it comes to everything Italian, but they don’t want this fact to be common knowledge. Without all of its Renaissance works, the Louvre would have to close its doors. Leonardo spent his latter days here. The only place where the Popes were hosted outside of Italy is here in Avignon. However, on that occasion they soon realised their mistake and the French sent them back to us. In exchange, they demanded “la Gioconda”, Nice and the Savoie region. The French Revolution was born in Paris, as was the guillotine. More modestly, all we have had was “piazzale Loreto” and Berlusconi instead of Napoleon.