A blunt projectile


NBS (New Bullet Services) wrote to me offering a full made to measure bullet home delivery service. I think that this is an excellent opportunity for everyone, not only for politicians and journalists, but also for the common citizen. Support from the institutions jumps into action the minute a duly wrapped bullet is delivered. The neighbours look at you with pity, reverence and even a spot of jealousy. We now immediately move away from the old phrase “Do you have any idea who I am?” to the more in vogue “Do you have any idea what calibre of bullet I just received?” From mine’s harder than yours, to mine’s a bigger bullet than yours.

"Dear Mr. B. Grillo,
Any real VIP needs a bullet. Status symbols and pardons for crimes committed are now passé, just like the Ferrari and the holiday home at Porto Cervo.
What makes all the difference today is receiving a bullet, however, it must be delivered professionally. Dear Mr. Grillo, have you ever asked yourself why it is that bullets are received one at a time and only one per person? Have you ever stopped for a moment and wondered about the simultaneous nature of the deliveries and, above all, about the receipt of said deliveries? Given that the Postal Services are busy with everything other than the transportation and delivery of mail, how is it possible that the bullets are always delivered to different people yet they all arrive at precisely the same time? In addition, nothing is ever said about the calibre, whether or not they are explosive (Dum-Dum) or with an X cut into the tip, or whether they are made for war or for hunting purposes? Have you noticed that no one has ever been apprehended for sending a bullet to someone?
Well Mr. Grillo, enough is enough! Let’s approach this new era with a certain level of professionalism. Our company is offering you a number of special services and all you need to do is to select the one that is most in keeping with your status:

YES! I WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE (tick the letter of your choice):
a) A truly well-worn bullet (slightly scratched over time) wrapped in a badly torn piece of bribe-type paper
b) A buckshot bullet (ideal for those wanting to appear to be mafia victims)
c) A variety of different war-style bullets with attached silencer, in a “extreme suburbs” package (“'bbanda da 'a Magliana” model)
d) Bullet accompanied by a stencilled threatening letter
e) Bullet hole on a load bearing wall of your own home, with a variety of traces and a dead cat
f) Assorted bullets, threatening letter and apprehendable scapegoat (subject to negotiation following a visit to the site)
g) Brief gunfight in front of the house, with not less than 20 cartridge cases, bloodstains containing traces of at least 3 different types of human DNA (ideal for ensuring the arrival of the renowned Parma RIS unit)
h) More extensive fire fight with bomb-type sound effects, at least 40 cartridge cases littering the ground, various bloodstains including up to four people’s DNA (one of which is female) and tyre tracks, as well as 3 bullet holes in the wall and one person apprehended (with Olindo-type expression)
i) Tension strategy service, complete with brief kidnapping (subject to negotiation following a visit to the site). Cordially yours, " New Bullet Services

Posted by Beppe Grillo at 12:45 AM in | Comments (6)
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Rispondo in italiano al signor Giacomo .
No ..non esiste alcun minimo di elettori.
Le lezioni politiche non sono un referendum che invece prevede il 50% che gli elettori vadano a votare.
Nel Suo Paese, decisamente meno glam del Nostro , andate sempre a votare in due però va bene così .
Have a fun .

Posted by: Elisabetta patti | February 3, 2008 09:54 PM

Hello everyone,
Elections appear imminent and inevitable in the Land of The Dolcevita, although I would like to ask a legal question.
Is there a minimum percentage of Turnout under which Elections are deemed Not Valid?
If anyone knows please explain.

Posted by: Giacomo Chiametti | February 3, 2008 05:05 PM

Insult is the last refuge of a debater out of arguments. Never fails! I watched a small segment of "Porta a Porta" embedded in Beppe's Youtube. Di Pietro was explaining how and why the Net will one day be more relevant than any other medium. To make his point he brought up Beppe's blog and the power it has to attract, in a matter of hours, hundreds of thousands of people and place them in contact with him and each other. A power no other tool of communication has, according to Di Pietro -and I agree. To be sure, Mr. Di Pietro only brought up Beppe's blog to illustrate a concept -that the Net is a most democratic and powerful medium that will soon eclipse other media-. Like the democrat that he is, he passed no judgement on the character of the users nor on the people posting on this blog. But somebody else did. A journalist. He told the audience how he keeps a personal blog on the Net concluding that being the case, knew a thing or two about it. I waited, with bated breath, the wisdom he was about to bestow. And what comes out of his mouth? Insults. He insulted us! Yes, us, the thousands of us who post here. He described us as the worst of Italy. Why? Because, no matter what politicians will do, like doing away with their blue cars and the thousands of other perks Italian politicians enjoy, we will still complain. And what does that have to do with the Net as an effective tool of communication? Well, he implied that the Net has too much freedom of expression and that it can be abused by "no good" people like us. Not that his remarks irritated me in any way, but I would find it ironic should this individual be on Berlusconi's side, the paladin of freedom.

Posted by: Louis Pacella | February 3, 2008 04:10 AM

I just read The New Yorker, o2-04-2008 edition, and Page 24 Article " BEPPE'S INFERNO " with admiration for Beppe Grillo, the subject.
Thanks Mr. Grillo for your good work and that of your friends.
The world needs more of the same.
Please keep up the good work.
Glenn K. Swanson
Bottineau North Dakota, USA

Posted by: Glenn K. Swanson | February 2, 2008 07:20 PM

Hello everyone,
What to say?
It’s very difficult to quantify the arrogance, selfishness, greed and Napoleon Syndrome these Leaders without followers are displaying.
Very simply, do you want to make a statement they would pay attention too?
Do not vote and if you do invalidate your vote, they should not even get 1 Euro for your vote!
Just like pretty bimbos, they can’t stand to be ignored!
The future looks bright wear shades.

Posted by: Giacomo Chiametti | February 2, 2008 01:51 PM

NBS works well in Italy!

for real!

Posted by: Luther Blissett | February 2, 2008 04:12 AM

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